Rabbi Simon Jacobson in his book, Towards a Meaningful Life asks this question, “Do you know what children need more than anything else?”
He answers this question by saying that, “It’s not gifts or places to travel to. It’s not even time. It’s validation. The acknowledgement that when they see the look in the eyes of a parent, they get the message that they’re important. That they are valuable.”
The need to feel valuable does not disappear when we grow up. It is a human core need and you have the ability and the power to give a gift of validation to yourself and to those around you.
“Our core emotional need is to feel valued. Without a stable sense of value, we don’t know who we are and we don’t feel safe in the world.” Tony Schwartz, president and CEO of The Energy Project
When someone doesn’t return your phone call or ignores your message; when you feel that someone is taking advantage of you or using you; when your hard work and efforts are not being acknowledged, it triggers a sense of threat and danger.
Unfortunately, many people strive to achieve a sense of value by putting other people down so that they would feel superior. To them, the achievements of others equals their failure. This ego-driven behavior only makes people feel more insecure but in their unconscious attempt to survive, they proceed to do it again and again.
When we move away from the demands and hungers of the ego, we are able to fulfill our need to be valued in a way that doesn’t create comparisons and judgements.
• Nobody can make you feel anything without your consent. If someone’s words or behavior upsets you or triggers a reaction, examine your own beliefs of yourself in that area.
• If you are secure about your worthiness and value in this world, nobody can make you feel otherwise; therefore, when a person comes into your life and triggers those emotions, be grateful to him or her because they are here to point out to you where the work needs to be done.
Enjoy the rest of your day!